The Pause

hi,

It’s been a while.

I was talking to a friend recently about what God has been doing in me throughout this season and it inspired me to come here. I don’t know if it's because I feel safe in this tiny corner of the internet, or maybe it’s because I treat this place like it’s my private diary - holding all the broken and victorious parts of me. I like to think I came here because these words might matter to you - matter in a way that has nothing to do with me, but in a way that makes your world look different - even if only for a second. I guess I just need you to know that your humanness is welcome here. All of the mess and joy. All of the confusion and peace. I write for my healing and your heart. Sometimes those things do not intersect, but today, I pray they do.

Since as far back as I can remember, I craved to be seen for my goodness. I was obsessed with being the kindest person you might ever meet. I needed you to not only believe, but know that I was a helper, a worker, a friend, and a confidant. I would lose myself in this performance of perfection - desperate for any hint of validation. What I thought of myself was entirely decided by the opinions and beliefs of others - other people, just like me, with their own world and pains, their own victories and struggles. Opinions that should have mattered so little - opinions that meant too much.

But this season has been looking different.

I am learning that I am just as valuable in my rest as I am in my work.

My Creator meets me with the same love in every season I walk into. My work does not equate to my worth, and my rest is necessary for what God is doing within me.

The world tells us to produce and perform, without ever telling us to pause.

Your pause is what makes your next steps possible.

Your pause is your pivot.

Your pause is purposeful.

Your pause is personal.

Your pause is promising.

In the all-consuming echoes of culture, in the chaos in your everyday, in the truths you are aching to uncover - find some rhythm in your rest.

There is a time to work and a time to rest. Welcome both.

Pray for the pause in your life and use it to become.

Be kind to yourself.

Praise your pause like the world praises your work.

Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!

1 Samuel 12:16

xo