Nostalgia

something about fall makes me painfully nostalgic. 

as if all my favorite memories are wrapped up in a single season. 

as if all the love I’ve ever felt consumed in just a few months. 

as if anything that ever mattered happened after summer & before winter. 

that time between the suffocating heat and chilly breezes. 

3 months full of a lifetime worth of memories. 

replaying on the big screen in my brain. 

ricocheting off all my senses. manipulating all my emotions. 

love lost & love secured. people chasing & people disappearing. experiences that changed me & ones that haunt me. 

nostalgia. it surprises me every mid-september like i haven’t met it a million times before. 

i welcome it like an old friend but embrace it like an ex lover. 

caution & overwhelm. pure joy and a little bit of fear. 

nostalgia. 

a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.

it makes me miss things. 

like taylor swift on the radio. 

innocence of heart. 

child like wonder. 

people. 

places. 

me. 

what’s wild is that as fast as it comes crashing in - is the pace at which it departs. 

as much as i miss things - the more i am grateful for what has become. what is becoming. 

nostalgia. 

i need it to remind me. 

that the ebbs of life are what keep me going. keep me balanced. keep me honest. 

nostalgia. 

i want it to hint to me. 

of what shaped me. what God did for me. 

nostalgia. 

i want it to revive me. 

because one day i will be nostalgic for this. this moment. these people. this place. 

nostalgia - 

do you feel it too? 

writing to you from my grandmas kitchen floor. 

xo