Victor >

This one is going to hurt and I am sorry.

This one is going to make you uncomfortable and that’s not my heart.

This one is going to force you to dig deep and ask yourself some questions, but that is the goal.

I am going to say it real quick and then proceed, like ripping of a band-aid:

Stop Leading as a Victim and Start Standing as a Victor.

I believe we are living in a world that is competing for the title of biggest victim.

Coveting that shiny gold medal to wear around our neck like a badge of honor.

I think we are consumed with making people feel as though they must sympathize with us in order for us to value ourselves. I think we have fallen prey to the belief that our struggle is our only strength. I think we have become so consumed with leading with our hurts, bondage and pain that we forget the victory, freedom and joy.

Having battled mental health for most of my life, I get it. I understand the mindset.

The belief that my pain was my priority. The treasure of being the battler of my family. The ability to say I am strong because I fight through this…

You see it everywhere, social media, TV, and everything in-between is teeming with “feel bad for me,” “my struggle hurts worse than yours,” “you will never understand what I’ve had to go through,” and on and on and on. How self-righteous of us - to be in competition for our pain.

It has become such a leading topic of conversation and valued trait that I often feel like those who don’t want to identify as victims must find victimhood in order to belong.

I am a victim of mental health struggles, but that is not all of me. It is not half of me. It will not own me.

Please hear me, I am not saying that you are not a victim in your own right and I am so sorry for whatever has happened to you, for the things you fight through - please know I am standing with you.

But what I am saying is you must not allow victimhood to lead your life.

And no matter what the world tells you, you get to decide.

You get to decide if you want to be a victim of your life or the victor of it.

You get the option to show the world what you are made of without begging them to understand it.

Because people can only understand what they can perceive - and your battle does not need to be felt by them to be valid to you. It doesn’t need to be understood by them to be real to you. So stop asking everyone to feel it like you feel it, and learn that it is okay when they don’t.

Your hurting badge is not more valuable than your heavenly badge.

Your identity lies in something and someone so much greater than the offenses and shortcomings of the world.

I need you to know that being held captive by your pain will stop you from stepping into your purpose.

I hope you know that your hurt is valid with or without the world knowing.

I pray that you understand your strength and where it comes from and that you are capable and worthy of living a life of true identity.

I want to remind you that people can rob you of things and experiences and so much more, but they can never rob you from your victory because that was decided on the cross.

The victory is already yours.

Victim is a label. Victory is your identity.

I dare you to start walking in it.

as always, these words are reminders for myself. i feel blessed if they meant something to you.

xo