Shadows

There is no other way to say it. I don’t want to live in my shadow. 

This is my diary. 

I write my deepest thoughts here for me. For my healing. My understanding. My becoming. 

I think so hard. I feel so deep. I dream so much. 

Dream of a life so full of intention, spilling over with love and beaming with joy. I dream of a life consumed with peace and wholeness. I dream of a life I believe I can have. I dream of a life I am terrified to pursue. 

Today, I went walking and caught a glimpse of my shadow. This silhouette of who I am. This outline of my movements. This shape of me, just missing the details. This flat and simple and dark me, empty of my being. 

The me that is everywhere I am.  The me I can not escape. 

I feel like so many of my days are spent shadow living. Lacking depth. Missing color. Void of definition. 

So many days I am just there and not becoming. 

I don’t want to see more of myself in my shadow than I do in the mirror. 

I want to be in the sun. I want the heat of the rays to bounce off my creamy skin. I want to be seen - shimmering with light as I pursue my wildest imaginations. Because I am capable. Because my shadow is shallow and I am not. Because life is too short to wait. Because I can.

I want to create shadows - not become them. 

I want this for you too.